Perspective

I wonder if we have truly accepted the reality of all our circumstances, or become convinced that if we simply disbelieve what is visible it will change things. That is bargaining, one of the stages of grief. If we just have this, or if we just do that, things will be as they were back when all was well. Before COVID, before war in Gaza or the Ukraine, before the job was lost, before life fell apart. Bargaining comes after anger on the Kubler-Ross scale of grief and loss, and anger comes after denial. Bargaining is a between space, where one must admit the loss is real, and is trying to prevent anger from becoming all consuming. If only it could be undone. If only someone would save us from the pain of losing something precious.

This day is beautiful, and I have not heard a cross word or seen an unpleasant thing since I came to consciousness a few hours ago. But I know that somewhere, probably very close, someone is suffering. Someone is having a hard time, someone is dying. A mother is straining through a painful birth, while another wails over the death of her child. Someone is hungry, someone is binging, someone is sinking beneath the tidal wave of addiction. A fire is destroying someone’s belongings, a disease is whittling away the very existence of someone who is loved by many others. Somewhere there is grief, and mourning, and sadness. Everywhere there is fatigue and confusion, wondering about the why and the how of walking through our world.

Fortunately, there is also joy somewhere. There is music, there is dance, there is happiness. There is wonder, there is awe, there is beauty. There are infinite numbers of things that rob us of breath for an instant, causing us to stop and breathe deliberately. Somewhere there is someone learning how to make a difference to others, there is someone learning how not to hurt someone else. There is a seed bursting open and there is a sprout emerging, somewhere there is a heart beating for the first time. Somewhere there is something pure and good and very far removed from evil.

In which world do I walk? Do I walk on the shady side of the path, or the sunny side? I suppose there is a choice, but in my experience both worlds exist simultaneously. There is sunshine and there is darkness, there is good and there is evil, there is joy and there is grief. Unless I do not move, I will experience all of it as I move forward. Unless I do not move, light and darkness will move around me all the days of my life. There’s nothing I can do about that, nor do I want it to be different. It’s the heartbeat of the Universe, the walk of Life, the Reality of All That Is. Universal law that binds us all, whether we accept it or not.

We are all on this same rock, spinning uncontrollably through space at the behest of forces we cannot understand. It doesn’t matter if we agree with that or not, it’s happening. We don’t know why it’s happening, but that’s largely irrelevant. The larger parts of our existence are totally out of our control. We can manipulate circumstances, the Matrix if you will, but all the rest of it is going to happen whether we behave well or not. What we believe gives us power is so very small and short-sighted. Perhaps we’ll learn, perhaps not.

I was talking with a close friend yesterday, and she was having a hard time about many things. Most of her immediate turmoil was due to a work situation, but I so clearly saw other less tangible issues beneath that. Her heart was tender and she was hurting. When I have been in that position, I have found myself seeking solace, warmth, understanding. Frequently, I have looked in ALL the wrong places and found no balm for the ache deep in my spirit.

When I do not find what I need in the places I search, I hope for a guide, for someone to take may hand and point me toward a more promising locale. That’s what I hope I did for my friend yesterday, and that is what I always hope for when I’m the one hurting and flailing around and in despair. That’s what I hope we can all do for each other, just take a hand and point. That’s not controlling, or dictating, just lending an eye or an ear when possible. That is gentleness of spirit, and I believe that’s our salvation.

If my spirit is not engaged, I am a human doing and not a human being. I am not existing, I am merely an organic module that is surviving for no other purpose but to continue. Not for purposes of growth or learning or change, but merely to survive in the involuntary sense. Until the lungs can hold no more breath we struggle to survive. Until the spirit can hold no more love we die bit by bit without realizing our death is looming. I can realize that right this minute, but in the next moment I’m not so sure.

Maybe that’s the essence of my walk through life, to maintain the sense – the literal sense – of my spirit. To not allow my spirit to die, to always remember what makes me who I am and to always move in alignment with that essence. To always want to be who I am, and not want to be someone else in the deepest parts of my self. Maybe that’s why I’m here, to learn how to do that, to not be constantly wanting to be someone else, someplace else. Accepting the here and the now, and recognizing my part in its construction.

We have all created this reality. We are not victims of the other inhabitants on this planet. If not us, then who? How we got here is irrelevant, but how we experience being here is all about us collectively. We have to accept responsibility for manipulating the circumstances and resources that we all share. That is actually the Great Divide – we make our own paradise and our own hell and we are responsible for both. The great equalizer is change. Things will change no matter what we do, so perhaps it is best not to hold on to anything too tightly.