So, here’s the thing. I am realizing just how high-maintenance I really am. Had an incredible time speaking at the UU service last week. It went very well, and I actually got a standing ovation when I was done. Then I came home. That was so exciting I needed a nap a couple of hours later.
Got the new laptop yesterday. Had some good trouble with making sure all my apps were in good working order, which I did (Zoom was the most difficult of all) and then watched some reels on Facebook and thought about the great and wonderful things I should do now that I have this new device. Then I needed a nap, and then I cruised the interwebs for a while.
I am most sincerely very grateful for being able to acquire a new laptop. Technically, I could have managed with the old one for a bit longer, but finances were not going to get any better going forward so carpe diem. Or something like that. I will set my sights on doing something benevolent for someone or something else to underscore my gratitude. But the anticlimax is real.
I was having a fairly good time writing that paper that I presented at the Fellowship, and was happy that it came off well and people seemed to appreciate it. They gave me a standing ovation, which stunned me. I really didn’t know quite how to take that in. But then it was just over and…I went home. My usual posse of potential lunch partners was not there, so after a few more pats on the back…I came home as usual. No big whoop, no residual joy, just…back to the ordinary. Bleh. High maintenance.
Today, it’s hot. Not as hot as yesterday, but still hot. Yesterday and the day before were like crematorium hot…the kind of hot where your hair can melt off your head and you are sweating in parts of your body that you never knew you had. Life, what a beautiful choice.
Yesterday was also my mother’s birthday. June 25, 1935 she bounced in here and stirred up all kinds of stuff for the next 82, almost 83, years. I wonder where she has gone, whether she still has the same ideas about how the world works and how to relate to people. I tell people frequently that I learned how to have relationships from crazy people. Neither one of my parents was particularly healthy about relationships on any level. A lot of co-dependence and avoidance and neglect. Oy vey.
But here I am, and it is what it is. I feel as though I have learned a few things, and feel as though I have initiated some major change in my life. I am not the same person I was in high school and college, not the same delusional, angry, confused child in an adult body that was a mystery. On some levels it is still a mystery, but that’s OK. I don’t really hate the hand I was dealt any longer, but it still frustrates me that so many people commit infractions, sins if you will, identical to mine and have no consequences. I always have consequences. Is that karma, or some unpaid debt from another lifetime? If so, have I made any progress toward restitution?
I suppose the answer to questions like that is not for me to know at this point, but if I did know… how would that make anything different? Would I suddenly comprehend what the next right step is, or inexplicably have boundaries and know how to have a healthy relationship? I suppose it would not be that easy, and entertaining such an incredible vision is simply fantasy. Maybe not even a good fantasy.
Anyhow, if I had any sense, I would do a couple of things today. One is to ake an appointment with the vet for the psycho dog. She has to be due for many things at this point, and she’s been scratching at her left ear and shaking her head a lot. That usually means mites, which is a drage but easy to fix. She got her lovins from Mr. Tom earlier, so I guess she’s happy.
The President is taking credit for brokering the cease-fire between Israel and Iran. Good job, ace, although you probably caused Iran to even be feared as a nuclear threat. Obama had gotten Iran to sign onto a pact that said they could not enrich uranium, which is a key requisite for building nuclear weapons. The agreement had been in place for several years, and seemed to be working. Until the orange rains came.
The brilliant stable genius tore up that agreement and tossed it into a trash can, mainly on the basis of his hatred or Obama. So, what’s a good middle-Eastern country with an agenda of destroying Israel to do except…start collecting and enriching uranium. This military strike on Iran targeted all three of their nuclear facilities, and nobody knows for sure whether those facilities were destroyed entirely or not. According to orange explanations, everything was obliterated, and the potential for nuclear development in Iran has been eradicated. According to actual facts, there was likely heavy damage to the facilities, but they could be repaired in a reasonable amount of time.
But here’s the big thing. The uranium is gone. Credible sources believe the Iranians received advance notice of the “surprise” attack and secretly moved it all to some unknown location. That would give them a reservation for future development, plus I hear they have some homies in the area who might lend a hand. We’lljust have to watch and wait.
The only reason this whole Iran pseudo-crisis arose is because SOMEBODY needed a distraction from the catastrophe that is otherwise known as his administration. Neither he nor any of his so-called cabinet can find their butts with both hands and a high-powered flashlight, so I’m not holding my breath that any of this will end well. His much-touted ceasefire between the two nations did not hold for even 12 hours. So, again, the only thing accomplished was a distraction for those of us over here. Thanks, Beav, but you’re still gonna have to explain all that when Mom gets home.
OK, now I’m hungry. I should have something in here to eat. One of my choices is frozen pizza, which I have recently learned is mega-bad for autoimmune diseases. I was really starting to enjoy those, too. From what I read, I don’t have to eliminate them all together from my diet, but use only sparingly. We’ll see about that. So, awaaaaaaaay I go, to save the day and make the world safe for those of us who walk a little bit on the dark side.
The Sound Hole 