Category Archives: online journal

The Oracle said we’re not all meant to survive. Show your soul. speak your truth, because that will change not the rotation of the Earth without regard for its substance. It will, however, change the way you vibrate in synchronicity with the motion of all that is. That can be a blessing or a curse,Continue reading “Untitled”

When I first got sober, I had realized long before that I was numb. Alcohol has an anesthetic effect; in the past a good slug of whiskey was used before surgery on battle wounds. Well, that and biting on a bullet and what not. I haven’t ever heard of alcohol being used to ease theContinue reading “Feeling…again”

…about…things. Like absolutes, and extremes, and gray areas. And stuff. I have been told that I’m a 1 and 10 kind of girl, going from off to maximum with no stops in between. That could be true, but over the years I feel as though I’ve become a little more oriented to the side ofContinue reading “Wondering…”

Yeah, I’m trying. I have not yet elevated my thinking to “no try, just do” or even “just do it”. But I am trying to counter my brain chemicals and keep my snout above water. Today I didn’t do a helluva lot, but did manage to walk the dog twice, for almost a mile eachContinue reading “E for Effort”

I had a random memory yesterday…it wasn’t a memory so far removed that it came as a great surprise or anything. I have remembered it in the past, but I suppose the emotion wasn’t firmly attached, or at least not connected to anything larger. This particular memory was probably triggered by something I ran acrossContinue reading “Homeless?”

I just watched most of the plea hearing for Nikolas Cruz, the Parkland FL school shooter. This kid is 23 years old now and seems fully in control of his faculties. He affirmed that he understood all of the implications of his guilty pleas (18 for murder, 17 for attempted murder, and 4 for batteryContinue reading “Burn, baby burn”

I don’t feel as though I am really here. I feel as though I have been dropped from some great height and my parts spread out haphazardly and disconnected upon the ground. I never knew how this machine worked in the first place, so trying to reassemble it is the stuff sitcoms are made of.Continue reading “Here, where I am not”

It occurs to me that when I want to hide, there are hundreds of places to go. Maybe infinite numbers of places I can go. All within the confines of my tiny little mind. I guess if I lap myself running around my brain cavity, I can pass go and pic up the $200. OneContinue reading “Oh, the places you’ll go”

I am resigning myself to not finding a job for which I have spent many years developing skills. It will be fine. I am thinking some of it is my age, and some of it possibly the gap in work history. Whatever. It’s not what I know, it’s who I know, and I’ve known thatContinue reading “Maybe?”

I think everyone has some kind of influence on others if they want to be influenced. It’s always a choice. The idiot that I fought with the other day in the Walmart parking lot influenced me – I was in a foul mood for the rest of the afternoon, and it still crosses my mind.Continue reading “Influence”