Dateline, domicile central. 22 January 2021. In an unprovoked attack, my lower gastrointestinal (GI) tract waged war on my wholly unsuspecting physical apparatus (body). The otherwise ill-prepared body was unable to fight back, and the GI tract secured its first victory in a long-standing conflict. Citing multiple grievances involving spices and snacks known to be irritants, together with inadequate water intake, the GI tract agreed to a cease-fire, after a long period of active conflict. The agreement is contingent on the body’s agreement to shut down ingress and egress for the body of all substances, with the exception of water, for the remainder of the day. Both parties agreed that rest and light duty are in order for the next 24 hours, contingent upon continuous and unrestricted access to the latrine. The GI commander was heard to say, “Damn the torpedos! If trapped, we’ll fight to the end if we can’t get a good escape route! Let that be a lesson to you!!” There was no response from the conquered body. That is all.
The Sound Hole 